I was 14 years old when I first went to a prayer meeting at a friend’s church.
I walked through double doors into what must have been their fellowship hall. Circular tables, each with eight chairs, filled a rather plain room with soft grey walls and faded blue carpet.
I thought I’d sit back and watch. They disagreed.
They told me that everyone can pray. And God helps us when we don’t know what to say. (Rom. 8:26-27)
We split into groups of 8 where we would each take turns praying aloud together. I sat down in my group of complete strangers.
Then we began.
As each person took their turn— waxing and waning eloquently in prayer— my anxiety grew. I was expected to pray soon. Out loud! What would I say? How on earth could I pray??
Are you intimidated by prayer?
Prayer seems so easy for some people!
They always know the right words.
They don’t stutter or ramble.
They don’t have long awkward pauses.
They can pray for long periods of time.
They can close their eyes THE WHOLE TIME.
These people seem so comfortable with prayer! Thankfully, I have learned through the years that there are many ways to grow more comfortable with prayer. In fact, this level of ease is attainable for each of us!
Here are several tips to help you take the next step in your prayer life.
1. Practice precedes perfect.
There are so many times we feel inadequate in prayer. We think that prayer should be natural for us immediately. We think we should be perfect right away.
Stop thinking that!
This is far from the truth! Prayer is a skill. Therefore, prayer takes practice. With any spiritual practice, we have a lot to learn about who God is and how we want to reflect Jesus in the world! We don’t start as experts!
“Prayer is a skill. Therefore, prayer takes practice.”
So here’s what I would say: the more often you pray, the more familiar it will be. The more familiar it becomes, the easier it will be! Here are some things you can try that might make practice easier.
Take 30 seconds, right now, to give God your day.
Schedule a time to pray: before meals, before bed, after your morning alarm but before getting out of bed. Fun fact, if you piggy-back your prayer time off another habit you do every day, you might be more likely to remember it (Thanks James Clear, from Atomic Habits).
Put it on the calendar. Writing down a new commitment makes it much more likely that you will do it!
It doesn’t have to be long. It is easier to change a habit than to start one. So set a timer for 2 minutes. When the timer is done, move on with your day!
I suppose I should end by saying this: perfect isn’t the goal. Familiarity is the goal. Connection is the goal. Communication is the goal. There isn’t a right or wrong way to pray. So get practicing and I promise, the more you pray the easier prayer will become.
2. Write it down.
Do you like lists? Or post-it notes? Do you tend to forget really important details that you know you shouldn’t? (No… just me?)
Writing down your prayers is a good way to help you pray. Sometimes crafting the prayer is as important as praying it, because it helps us think about what we want to say.
Writing a prayer down can be especially good for keeping lists of people to pray for. Or lists of things you’re thankful for. Or lists of things you want to know about God.
Writing a prayer can be just as good as creating a spontaneous one out loud. And, its much less intimidating.
“Writing a prayer down can be especially good for keeping lists of people to pray for. Or lists of things you’re thankful for. Or lists of things you want to know about God. ”
By the way, feel free to start with someone else’s words! You don’t have to do this on your own. Which brings me to…
3. Use a guide.
Sometimes we simply have no idea how to pray. Whether our prayer life feels dry or our questions about God have taken the wind out of our sails, sometimes we need someone else to help us out.
There are many good sites and books that help with prayers. Favorite books of mine have included “Christ in Our Home” which is available at our church office or “Daily Text” published by Mount Carmel Ministries in Alexandria. Online, I enjoy Max Lucado’s daily devotional. Sarah Young’s series starting with Jesus Calling is also excellent.
When we don’t know where to begin, it’s ok to let someone else help you out. Any of these would be great choices! And there are many others out there too!
4. Try different forms of prayer
Sometimes no matter what we try, words don’t come easily. That’s ok, because prayer is more than words lifted up to God. Since prayer is about communication and relationship, there are many ways to spend time with God that might not include “Dear Jesus” or “Amen.”
Here are some other ways to pray:
Spend time outdoors. If nature is your thing, go for a hike or a walk. Sometimes the birds, trees, flowers, plants, mud, and trails speak of God in ways we could never imagine.
Explore artwork. People have been expressing their faith through art for centuries. A common spiritual practice in the Eastern Orthodox Church is to reflect on God using sacred icons. Find some images of faith and prayerfully ponder what they can teach you about God
Listen to music. Take a moment to listen to your favorite Christian music. As Martin Luther once said, “When we sing, we pray twice.” If you need ideas to get started, we curate a spotify play list for each season. Check it out and listen along on your next drive to work!
There are so many ways to pray! What are some of your favorite ways to pray?
5. Remember: The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. James 5:16
Ok, this one isn’t exactly a tip, but I still think it is important. Sometimes we don’t pray because we wonder: “does God even hear our prayers?” Well, I think God does!
In Exodus 32, God has just led the Israelites out of Egypt with the help of Moses. Unfortunately, the people are grumbly. “We are too hungry! We are too thirsty! We are too tired!” they cry.
One day, God had had enough. He was tired of it and was ready to “let his wrath blaze against them” and start over with a new batch of people!
Luckily, Moses is praying to God at that exact moment! “Don’t hurt your people!” he says. “Remember how much you love them! There is still good in them!”
Exodus 32:14 is a favorite verse of mine. The New Living Translation says, “And God changed his mind about the terrible disaster he threatened to bring on his people.”
Wow! Moses’ prayer was so effective that God changed his mind?!? Now, that’s a powerful prayer!
Your prayers are powerful too.
We don’t need to be as important as Moses. You don’t need to be as perfect as Jesus.
God doesn’t ask us to know the right words. Or speak for a specific length of time. God doesn’t even ask us to close our eyes when we pray.
When it comes to prayer, God only ask us to be faithful. God promises to hear us and to answer, even if the response isn’t when or what we expect. (Psalm 116:1-2)
So keep praying friend. Even when you don’t know where to start. Even when faith feels dry. We hope these tips will help you take the next step to grow closer to God in prayer.
“When it comes to prayer, God only ask us to be faithful. God promises to hear us and to answer, even if the response isn’t when or what we expect. (Psalm 116:1-2)”
Side note:
The story in Exodus highlights several other questions we ask about God and prayer:
If God knows everything, how can he change his mind?
Why does it feel like God only answers some of our prayers?
Each of these questions will need its own post to answer, so stay tuned! Our best attempt at answers are to come!
Psalm 166:1-2 “I love the Lord because he hears and answers my prayers. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath.”
Rev. Meggie Bjertness, Pastor of Adult Faith Formation
By the way, feel free to email me with any prayer requests. It’s an honor to hold you in prayer!
Also, you could join our prayer ministry team! The church puts together a list of requests each week and sends it to our team. They love having new friends!
Peace, Pr. Meggie